An educator at my school recently set her ringtone to the sound of a sheep baaa-ing. The first time I heard it I didn’t realize it was a cell phone ringing but rather thought to myself “someone must have left the gate open and a goat got in”. This would, of course, be a perfectly plausible explanation in a village full of goats. It sounded so close though that I was sure it was about to come into the classroom and I couldn’t figure out why nobody seemed to care that a goat was interrupting their class. Once I figured it out I took a moment to ponder goats and I came to the conclusion that I will miss them. Goats are everywhere and they spend all day doing nothing but eating anything but mostly the thorn bushes. They’re kind of cute and their poo is fairly discreet. If I let produce go bad I just toss it to the goats and it disappears. My obnoxious dog will bark at and harass donkeys and cows to no end, but he seems to be afraid of goats, even the baby ones. I like to see him put in his place from time to time. So really, when it comes to goats, what’s not to like?
On a different topic, I just had my first and presumably only stint in a South African hospital. I’ve been having some wicked bad stomach pains for a while now that could be attributed to an ulcer. Once they got really, really bad, I decided it was time to go to the doctor in Brits, my shopping town. I was sent to a specialist who sent me first to the x-ray department for a sonogram to rule out gallstones and then decided to perform an endoscopy on me.
An endoscopy is a routine, out-patient procedure for which I had to be admitted to the hospital. After I checked in on the day of the procedure I was shown to a very hospital-y bed and told to put on the white hospital gown and mortifyingly gargantuan granny-panties that the hospital, for some reason unbeknownst to me, requires patients to wear in the operating theatre (I protested this but was given no leeway) I was told to check in at 8am while the procedure wasn’t until 11:30, so there I was sitting in my hospital bed in my hospital gown in a room with three other women who were clearly there recovering from far more serious procedures than I was about to have. I felt a bit like a fraud.
After several hours of reading my book and trying not to feel too awkward I was wheeled, in my bed, through the hospital to the surgical unit. This was perhaps an even more embarrassing experience than the former – I definitely could have walked myself up there although I suppose then I would have flashed the whole hospital with that gown I was wearing. While waiting for my turn in the operating theatre I met several nurses, a few surgeons, and my anesthesiologist. They were all very curious and excited about my status as an American and lots of questions about how I liked South Africa and what I was doing here. I don’t think they get many foreigners in Brits. For the endoscopy they sedated me with conscious sedation. This still baffles me a bit. Conscious sedation, apparently, sedates you enough that you are really high but still alert enough to follow instructions from the doctor- like in my case, to swallow. An amnesiac is involved so that you don’t remember a thing about the procedure even though you are awake the whole time and I’m pretty sure a painkiller was part of the cocktail as well. I remember the anesthesiologist talking to me about her recent vacation while putting in the IV and somebody putting oxygen prongs in my nose. After that, I don’t remember a thing until I “woke up” as they were wheeling me back to my room. I remember at this stage feeling pretty woozy, but happy and not a bit uncomfortable about being wheeled through the hospital.
After about half an hour two of my friends showed up to help me get home. I was very grateful that they came because although I came back to a normal, alert state of consciousness fairly quickly, I wasn’t keen on the idea of taking public transport home by myself after that. Also, the nurses and my doctor were giving me instructions and the amnesiac seemed not to have totally worn off yet so it was good to have two other brains there to remember things. I’ll get the results of the endoscopy later this week so hopefully I’ll know soon what’s going on in my stomach. My anesthesiologist asked me what I thought of the South African hospital compared to an American one and I really couldn’t say since I’ve never done more than visit somebody in an American hospital or go to the clinic part. As far as I could tell it was in tip top shape- it was very clean and the staff were all super friendly and helpful. This was a private hospital though and I imagine that the public hospitals here are not so very nice, I’m just glad I won’t have to find that out for myself.
