My dear friend Laura, who knows my tastes all too well, recently sent me a magnificent package containing enough chocolate to cause me to regain any weight I may have lost in my many cases of near-dysentery experienced since coming to South Africa. In addition to the chocolate were several books, including Sleeping Naked is Green, by Vanessa Farquharson. While bringing me back to my intern days at Green America in Washington, D.C., it’s also gotten my somewhat unfortunately, deeply analytical mind cranking.
The book is a result of the author’s resolution to make one green change to her life every day for a year, e.g. using recycled paper towels or carrying a Nalgene filled with tap water rather than buying bottled water. Anyway, while on my run today it got me thinking about how “green” my life in SA is, compared to my life in either D.C. or Iowa, in which I made a slightly more than half-hearted effort to live an environmentally friendly lifestyle. Here, I make no effort other than to bring my reusable bags with me when I go into town. But upon thinking about it, I’m actually doing quite well, even if my life choices are not conscious choices but rather made by necessity. For example, at home I had a gym membership and went to the gym daily to use electronic gym equipment. Here, no gym? I walk and run along the dirt roads. At home I negligently placed my dirty dishes in a water-guzzling dishwasher. Ha! I had almost forgotten about the existence of dishwashers. A few liters of water will suffice to wash all of my dishes for the day. At home I would use a washing machine and a dryer. Here- half a dozen buckets of water and a line for drying clothes in the sun. As for additional electricity consumption- well, seeing as the power is out about 40% of the time in my village, I’d say that’s not such a problem. I should probably be more concerned with the level of paraffin in my candles. It all boils down to living a simpler life, in essence. But still, changes have been made, and although almost any PCV you ask would agree that such lifestyle changes as forgoing electricity or limiting water consumption are hardly the hardest part of this experience, I’d say they definitely contribute. Let me expound on this:
Farquharson comments after her first month, “This then, is the dilemma at one-twelfth of the way though: Can I cradle a martini with dirt under my fingernails? Seriously. I mean, is it really possible to make hundreds of life-style changes without becoming someone I’m not?”
Of course, in my narcissistic and deeply analytical state of mind, I draw parallels. I’m a year into my 26-month commitment and it’s just now that I’m really marveling at the contrasts between the USA me and the SA me. Sure, I knew coming in that pretty much the whole concept of Peace Corps is about life style changes. But did I ever really stop to think about what that would mean? About how those lifestyle changes would in turn, change me? Or, to get even more convoluted, is change necessary to get through this experience? If we resist the change, are we stuck in some middle ground, unwilling to move forward, yet unwilling to look back? Eish, probably too many questions…I think I’ve lost my original train of thought. But basically, what I’m trying to figure out, at this year-mark, is…can I still be me? Am I still me? Am I still the person who on the weekends loved to drink champagne, go to the National Symphony Orchestra concerts in Washington, D.C. and buy new dresses from Anthropologie whenever my budget would allow?
I think my answer is yes. Just as greening one’s life requires many adjustments, it doesn’t necessitate an entire personality overhaul. I haven’t sworn off the occasional extravagant clothing purchase, I’m just taking a temporary break from Anthropologie. I still have a strong appreciation for the fine arts; I’ve just adjusted my definition of entertainment. And while I still enjoy my alcohol in champagne form, or at least bottled wine as opposed to boxed, I’ve managed to put that part of me on hold. In the meantime, I’ve come to know a more hardcore version of myself I never thought possible. I’m now the kind of person who is comfortable having an entire conversation about poop, who bathes shockingly infrequently, and who pees in a bucket every night. I’m now somebody who spent 15 minutes this morning chasing a mouse around my house, shouting expletives, a spray can of chemicals (admittedly, NOT environmentally friendly) clutched in my hand (I was unsuccessful, he’s still alive…). A year later, I mend raggedy sweaters, worn from hand washing, and forget about makeup for weeks on end. So yes, change is inevitable. Lifestyle changes are part of the package, but the character changes that come with them are perhaps what allow us to keep going. And, nestled in the Northeast corner of Ames, Iowa, is still the old me, waiting for the new me to pick and choose which changes to keep and which to throw away when this is all over.
In the meantime, maybe I’ll make be a little more conscious of my carbon footprint, even if it already is a great deal smaller than it once was.
